Saturday, August 3, 2013

The Decision

Now, T-10 days from departure I can share my first blog post.  This was written back in January.  More to come!

Delayed gratification defines the life of a medical student.  Despite entering medicine for all of the “right” reasons —a passion for helping others, a genuine interest in science and an intense curiosity about all things human – thoughts of doubt never completely exit my mind.  While my friends have been traveling, campaigning, advancing, dating, marrying and buying, I have been studying; studying harder and longer than I ever thought possible.  Thirty hours of class per week, plus studying, plus time for necessities (cleaning and eating) is not an equation that will give you an excellent social life.  Sure, I could skip class, I could study less, but tell me, is that the kind of doctor you want taking care of you or your loved ones?

Then there is Adam.  Ours is initially a story of summer love.  Summer love that the gods of time looked down on and laughed at.  Despite our strongest efforts to end our relationship and even hide on the opposite side of the globe from one another, the attraction we share has resulted in a four-year, long distance relationship.  I have to say I would do it again in a heartbeat.  Adam is an intelligent, understanding, talented, stubborn, and I have to say very handsome man full of love and support for me and my goals.  Goals seem to be our perpetual problem.  Many of our goals are similar, but for now they keep us on opposite sides of the country as we strive for success in our individual career fields. 

As the daughter of a feminist generation, in college even the thought of changing my career plans for a boyfriend made me sick to my stomach.  The Gloria Steinems of the world were watching.  I had to live up to their expectations.  I am successful, I will be the breadwinner, he should come to me.  However, did merely swapping unequal roles really give me the partnership I desired?  The answer is no, but of course the scales of compromise always look weighted towards the side you are standing.  Many sleepless nights and long digitally-assisted conversations later we have hatched a plan.  Maybe it is our goals that need to be put on hold and not our relationship.  There are two things you can do when your partner says, “baby, let’s quit our jobs and sail away.”  Either, you go or you get a new boyfriend.  We’ve decided to go.